Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Are Moms really THAT busy??

So I'm watching Dr. Phil right now, and its actually making me mad. I love him, but its quite insulting. University of Maryland did a study saying that Mom's have 30-40 hours of lesuire time a week!!! Ummm WHAT???? I guess I need to count Ty's naps...ok thats 3 hrs a day. I may sit and write my blog for half an hour, but I'm on edge waiting to hear that little cry from Tyson. Or i'm cleaning, or folding some laundry. Ty goes to bed around 8. I go to bed at 10. Ok thats two more hours. But thats when I eat dinner, or get my clothes ready for the next day of work, or shower....showering to me is not a lesuire activity...its a nessecity. I don't think people want me to go a few days with out showering. I'm on call all day. Ty is walking/running so I'm constantly going after him. He's teething, so I'm always consoling him. I'm preparing his meals, taking him out places to keep him occupied...working...Mom's are BUSY all the time. We hardly get time for ourselves, and when we do, we are always thinking about our babies and worrying that they are ok. I used to be a SAHM and I miss it...but I feel that it was MORE work than being a part time working mom. Full time SAHMs really make me proud. Working is sometimes a little break for me...but its still not lesuire time! It has become a little easier now that I am living with my parents, but I still hardly get a break. When I was living with Joe, I did everything. Men hardly change diapers, men hardly cook, men hardly do laundry....and this man was even home all day playing mobsters! Thats lesuire time!! I just don't understand where this research comes from. Mom's lesuire time comes in little increments, we don't get a whole chunk of time like from 1-5. We might get it from 1:30-2, then from 5-5:30. Some men who aren't SAHDs work then expect to be able to go out with their friends all day on saturday...when do the mom's get to go out? Pshhhhhhh...lesuire butt! :)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Be proud momma!

I never imagined that I'd look this good after having Ty. I'm not saying that too sound like a brat or anything. But I actually feel pretty proud of my body. Sure I have days where I just want to throw on a t-shirt and crawl in to bed, but I think everyone does. I haven't worked out, and I've been eating more than I should, but still...I look good! On friday night I went out. I did my hair, put makeup on, wore a cute outfit...I looked in the mirror and told myself... "You look fantstic!" With that attitude and confidence, I knew I would have a good night. And I did. I think it is all about pumping your self up, and having confidence. If you don't do that then you will feel and look sloppy. You have to hold your chin up, and put those sholders back, and walk like a runway model...well doing those things make me feel like I rule the world :) There might be something different that you do...maybe its doing your hair a certain way...or wearing a certain article of clothing...there is always something that makes us feel proud of who we are and what we look like. Its been almost a year since I had Ty. I got one little stretch mark on my hip. At first I hated it. But I'm proud of it and I hope it never dissapears. It shows me that I carried my son in my belly, and that he is mine. It shows me all the hard work I put into kepping him safe and giving him a place to grow. Sure I still have a little pudge here and there...but I'm loosing that. And I don't care if I never fit in to my size 4's again. I'm proud of my body. Its who I am. You should be proud of yours too. Even if you think you have some work to should still strut your stuff and show it off. Be proud momma, be proud!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Healthy Eating

I try to be healthy. And I want to try and pass that on to Ty. He eats much more fruit and veg than I do. I am thankful that I have my mum around to help me chose healthy meals for him. He loves blueberries, bananas, brocolli, tomatoes...anything really! I really like Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. I love Jamie anyways...I love his cook books and loved all his other shows in the past. I really think he is doing a great thing by going to Huntington and cooking at the schools. I can't believe all the crap that these kids are eating. It truly disgusts me. I must be honest....when I moved over here, I was super skinny. But the food that I chose to eat over here has made me fat. Its crazy how many fast food restaurants are over here. And the portion sizes over here are huge. The saying Everything is bigger in America is so true.  I have made choices to eat at these fast food chains, and eat the big portions, so I get that I made those desicions. Sure England has its problems too, but I feel that food is more of a problem over here. I try so hard not to eat processed food, and I don't serve it to Ty. He only gets fresh food. When he starts school, I really hope that the system will have changed so I don't have to worry about the nutrition he is getting while there. I know I'll be packing his lunch for a long time. Its sad that Jamie has been given so much crap about him coming over here and doing this. But it needs to be done. Too many kids are over weight. Their parents are always feeding them to keep them entertained or to keep them quiet. Our children are going to die before us if we don't start feeding them right. So lets make a revolution for ourselves. To keep our children healthy, and to make eating healthy fun for them. We have to set good examples for them and keep ourselves healthy too.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Long Walks=Lots of thinking

Long walks make me think a lot, and I don't know if that is a good thing, or a bad thing. I have been taking about two walks a day, so that gives me lots of time to be by myself while pushing Ty around. And the thought that always pops into my head I doing the right thing? Each day I see families. I see them together. I see them being happy together. I see the daddy teaching his son how to catch a ball, and I see a mommy cheering them on. I see a mommy and a daddy trying to keep their daughter on the side walk while she is pedling her bike. I see mommies and daddies holding hands as their children walk infront of them. I see smiles, I hear laughs, I see happiness, I see love. It makes me I really doing the right thing? Shouldn't Ty get to experience that? Shouldn't he get to see the love between his parents? And have them both there while he is learning how to hit a baseball? Shouldn't he have both parents holding hands at his football games? He should. But he won't. I had to cut my walk short today, because it simply made me really upset, seeing all the happiness around me. Sure I am happy, but I would be happier knowing that I can give Ty two parents who are together. I know deep down that we are doing the right thing. But it still hurts. I know he will appriciate the fact that we aren't together in the long run, because simply we sucked at being a couple. He doesn't need parents who fight all the time. But part of me wonders if he'll be upset when his friends parents are holding hands and being together. It worries me. No more walks for a while.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Throwback Tuesday

Our Little Spot
That was his name when we first saw him on the screen.
I felt my heart skip a beat, knowing that I had a baby growing inside of me.
Part of me was freaking out.
Part of me was so excited.
At that point, our lives changed.
At that point, we wouldn't be the same people that we were.
We would have great days infront of us.
We would have hard days ahead.
Who knew that one picture could change lives?
Who knew that one little spot could light up the world?
Our little spot has changed so much since that picture was taken.
Our little spot is an amazing little man, who still makes my heart skip a beat, and always will.
I love Our Little Spot.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Not as hard as I thought it would be

So this being a single mother thing isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I just had to get over my fear, and do it. I love Joe, as Tyson's dad, and I love him as a person, but a relationship just didn't work for us, like many people's relationships. I was so scared to leave though. I was worried that I would dissapoint people. I was worried that it wouldn't be the best thing for Tyson. I was worried that my room wouldn't be there at home, because my mum had a new craft room. But I kicked her out and she's in the basement now :) LOL. I was so worried about these things, that I stuck around for much longer than I should have. I should have made this leap a long time ago. It would have been better for all of us. But I kept on pretending that nothing was wrong. Little did I know, everyone could see right thru it. I thought it would be so hard living back at home. Turns out it is the best thing for us. I have so much help around here now, people offer to change diapers, people offer to watch him while I shower!! I forgot how nice taking a shower was! I am so blessed to have such a strong support system. There are so many unfortunate women out there who don't have what I have, and who are struggling to make it on their own. With out the love and support from my family, I think I'd be stuck. I'd still be unhappy, and Ty wouldn't be in the best place. I have made great friends with Joe now, where as before we used to fight constantly. Its nice to be friends with someone who gave you the greatest gift ever. I am very very lucky to have these wonderful people in my life. So to my family and my friends, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You truly mean the world to Tyson and I!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Hopes and Dreams

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams". I really cherish that quote, by Eleanor Roosevelt. That quote will be something that I will try to instill in Tyson. I want him to have dreams. I want him to work hard to acomplish those dreams. I want him to be able to do what ever he wants to do, I will give him opportunities to do those things, I will let him be who he wants to be, as long as its not something that would harm him in anyway. But being his mother, I have dreams for him too. I want him to be happy and healthy and sucessful. When I was younger, I always wanted to have my child be involved in musical theatre. I wanted my child to go to a performing arts school, be on Broadway, and love to dance and sing. Part of me still wants that for him, but if its not what he wants to do, I'll still support him. He might be great at baseball, or football, or become an artist. I don't know. I just hope that he will have dreams and set goals to reach those dreams. I want him to see how stong he is, and how wonderful he is. I want him to know that his family will love him no matter what he decides to do, and no matter who he decides to be.  That is my dream for him.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


So I'm  going a little off track with my posts. I don't think i'll stick to a schedule of topics. I'm just going to write about how I feel and be open with what is going on in my life. I think it will be more interesting that way. As I was playing with Ty this morning with a mirror that he has, I looked in it and I thought wow I look like crap. I haven't showered in a day, my hair is so messy, I have no make up on, and I have pimples galore. I couldn't bare to go outside looking like this, but it made me realise that someone loves me this way. Tyson loves me even though I don't have makeup on, and even though I may smell like a trucker. Tyson loves me for who I am. He loves me in the morning when my breath isn't the freshest, he loves me in the afternoon when I'm getting grumpy, he loves me at night when my hair is soaked because he has splashed around in his bath so much that his momma is covered and the bathroom is like a swimming pool. I don't have to be someone I'm not around him. I don't have to put on a front. He doesn't need to see me all dolled up. He loves me the way I am and that isn't going to stop. I hope that I can show him one day that you don't need to put on a front for someone to love you. You don't need to be someone you are not. If that person doesn't love you the way you are then you don't need them. I think I need to take that advice and put it in to my mindset if one day I do get into a realtionship again. I'm not going to pretend to be a perfect person, I'm not going to live my life in a way that person would want me to. I am going to be Rachel Louise Nixon, and stay true to myself.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Tuesday Vent

Today I'm just going to ramble. Firsts mean a lot to me. First cry, first poopy diaper, first smile, first laugh, first "mama", first wave, first sitting up unassisted, first crawl, first clap, first wave, and first steps. They mean so much to me that when Ty has a first I have always been the one to see it happen for the first time. I always seem to cry when these firsts happen. Its a happy feeling, that Ty is becoming independant, but it is so sad that my baby is growing up too quick. Tyson has always had hair, ever since he was born. When he came out, the delivery nurse said "He looks like Zack Efron with all that hair!!". Its always been long, but we've been able sweep it off to the side. I do plan to cut it, I really do. But part of me can't do it because that will make him look like a little boy, not a baby. I have a big plan for his first hair cut, take before and after pictures, video tape it, save his hair to put it in the baby book. It is one of his firsts that I really want to be there for. When I took Ty to his dad's house this morning, Joe said he was going to cut Ty's hair. Ummmmm WHAT????!!! NO!  Do firsts not mean as much to dad's as they do moms? Or am I over reacting? I cried and cried when Joe said this. Luckilly I was able to convince him not to, but what if he had done it without telling me, and I had missed that first? He wouldn't have pictures, he wouldn't have his first piece of hair in his baby book. I don't know if I am being selfish about this or if every mother feels this way. I know there will be many hair cuts to come, but this would be his first one, his baby hair! He'll never get his baby hair back! I am praying that he doesn't come home with his hair cut. I will be shattered if he does! :(

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Sunday Seven LOL, and total blog fail.

Sunday Seven (Supposed to be Saturday Seven lol)

1. Went out for sushi, with a great friend
2. Went shopping with the same great friend and bought a good book, "When God Writes your love story"
3. Worked by myself with no training!! Scary, but I did it!!
4. Got a video of Tyson walking although its very blury
5. Went to the musical, Oklahoma! Seneca always does a wonderful job!!
6. Saw Curtis Stone at the market district, so cute!
7. Was very very very jealous of my friends who are in Jackson Hole right now!!

Total Fail

This blog is begining to fail. At the start it was pretty good, but now it really shows how boring and un eventful my life really is! I'm even skipping some days! I'm sorry!! I will try and make it better, I promise. And if anyone has any topics they would like me to write about, or if you have any questions you want to ask me, feel free to comment! This week I'll try and figure out some more juicy topics, and once the weather warms up, I'll be doing lots of park trips so we'll have a lot more pictures and fun stories!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Thursday- Random Picture day 3

This picture was taken on July 4th, 2009. Tyson would have been about 3 months old! My handsome baby and I did the Race for Virginia. It is such a great cause. Virginia used to live up my street, and sadly she passed away at the age of 9. I remember seeing her at an Easter Egg hunt in our community park, she was always so happy and fun loving, living her life to the fullest. Every year they have a race to celebrate her, and a friend from the community that has also passed. They also do a few other events in her name. Its wonderful seeing a community get together to celebrate someone so great. The race is always fun, I walked as I'm not the best runner, and my family walked/ran. There are prizes, donuts and even Ritas at the end!! I encourage everyone near me to check it out next year, July 4th. Its a fun event, and the proceeds go to Pediatric Cancer Research. Please check out their website, Race For Virginia

Tyson had lots of fun that day, he met a lot of new friends, and we can't wait to do it next year!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wednesday- Looking into the future #3

Ty is officially up and walking!!! He has been taking steps here and there but I didn't want to make it official yet, partly because I didn't want him growing up too fast, and partly because I didn't know what "official" walking was. He'll walk right across the room now and will walk to the toy he wants. I can't believe my little man is growing up!! Ten Months old!! YIKES! What will he do next?? Run? Talk back to me? Start playing soccer? Get a girlfriend? Get married? Geez I'm going to be a grandma before you know it! How did ten months fly by so quickly? Usually my life goes so slow, because it was so boring, but now I am praying for it to slow down. The days end so fast. I see changes in Ty everyday. His hair grows, he grows, heck his eye lashes will not stop growing!! I think I picked a theme for his birthday. A magazine came in the mail and there was a cute monkey theme. He wears a monkey hat everyday so I think this will be a good fit for him! Not like he'll remember anyways!! I believe Joe and I will do seperate parties, so I don't know their theme yet. Lucky boy...two parties! I will try and keep ours small, just close family and friends. Ok well quick night for me as I am so tired!! I will try and get a video of my little munchin walking tomorrow!!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Monday QOTD/ Throwback Tuesday

A new friend asked me yesterday, "What do you like the most about being a mom?" What an awesome question! Super hard to answer though. I love everything about being a mommy. Its the best job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The answer I gave him was "Waking up and seeing my baby smile, and knowing that I am his world". I love doing everything for him. I would do anything for him. I love seeing him look at me knowing that I'm his mommy, and he knows that he will be safe in my arms. I will do everything in my power to protect this little boy. I love being able to cuddle with my little man knowing that he will always be in my life. He will always love me, and I will always love him. My heart has grown so much since I met this little guy. I didn't realise love was such a powerful feeling. I've never been in love like this before. He is my everything. I love watching him grow, I love seeing the acomplishments that he makes, from the very first smile, to the little baby steps he is taking. He makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes my day amazing even if i'm in a grumpy mood. Those of you that have children know exactly how I feel. Those of you that don' will someday. Its a love you can't explain. Ty is with his dad today and I miss him so much. Sure its nice to get a break once in a while, but I'd rather have him in my arms all day. Gahh I miss him! I can't wait to pick him up in 20 mins!!

Throwback Tuesday!!
This is the morning of my induction. The week before I didn't look anything like that. I was small, but then POP!!! Tyson decided to grow, he got huge, and so did I!!! I can't believe he fit inside me. Its kinda odd thinking that I had a human inside my belly! How does that work?!? How did this little man come out of me!? Its so amazing how the human body works, how it can produce such an amazing thing, and how it can heal itself. It really fascinates me how these things work. Think about it. The human body is such an amazing thing, hmmm off to google I go!
This is me about 7 hours after I gave birth! I thought I would be skinny automatically, turns out I was wrong....very wrong!