Love

So I'm  going a little off track with my posts. I don't think i'll stick to a schedule of topics. I'm just going to write about how I feel and be open with what is going on in my life. I think it will be more interesting that way. As I was playing with Ty this morning with a mirror that he has, I looked in it and I thought wow I look like crap. I haven't showered in a day, my hair is so messy, I have no make up on, and I have pimples galore. I couldn't bare to go outside looking like this, but it made me realise that someone loves me this way. Tyson loves me even though I don't have makeup on, and even though I may smell like a trucker. Tyson loves me for who I am. He loves me in the morning when my breath isn't the freshest, he loves me in the afternoon when I'm getting grumpy, he loves me at night when my hair is soaked because he has splashed around in his bath so much that his momma is covered and the bathroom is like a swimming pool. I don't have to be someone I'm not around him. I don't have to put on a front. He doesn't need to see me all dolled up. He loves me the way I am and that isn't going to stop. I hope that I can show him one day that you don't need to put on a front for someone to love you. You don't need to be someone you are not. If that person doesn't love you the way you are then you don't need them. I think I need to take that advice and put it in to my mindset if one day I do get into a realtionship again. I'm not going to pretend to be a perfect person, I'm not going to live my life in a way that person would want me to. I am going to be Rachel Louise Nixon, and stay true to myself.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Vent

Today I'm just going to ramble. Firsts mean a lot to me. First cry, first poopy diaper, first smile, first laugh, first "mama", first wave, first sitting up unassisted, first crawl, first clap, first wave, and first steps. They mean so much to me that when Ty has a first I have always been the one to see it happen for the first time. I always seem to cry when these firsts happen. Its a happy feeling, that Ty is becoming independant, but it is so sad that my baby is growing up too quick. Tyson has always had hair, ever since he was born. When he came out, the delivery nurse said "He looks like Zack Efron with all that hair!!". Its always been long, but we've been able sweep it off to the side. I do plan to cut it, I really do. But part of me can't do it because that will make him look like a little boy, not a baby. I have a big plan for his first hair cut, take before and after pictures, video tape it, save his hair to put it in the baby book. It is one of his firsts that I really want to be there for. When I took Ty to his dad's house this morning, Joe said he was going to cut Ty's hair. Ummmmm WHAT????!!! NO!  Do firsts not mean as much to dad's as they do moms? Or am I over reacting? I cried and cried when Joe said this. Luckilly I was able to convince him not to, but what if he had done it without telling me, and I had missed that first? He wouldn't have pictures, he wouldn't have his first piece of hair in his baby book. I don't know if I am being selfish about this or if every mother feels this way. I know there will be many hair cuts to come, but this would be his first one, his baby hair! He'll never get his baby hair back! I am praying that he doesn't come home with his hair cut. I will be shattered if he does! :(

Sunday Seven LOL, and total blog fail.

Sunday Seven (Supposed to be Saturday Seven lol)

1. Went out for sushi, with a great friend
2. Went shopping with the same great friend and bought a good book, "When God Writes your love story"
3. Worked by myself with no training!! Scary, but I did it!!
4. Got a video of Tyson walking although its very blury
5. Went to the musical, Oklahoma! Seneca always does a wonderful job!!
6. Saw Curtis Stone at the market district, so cute!
7. Was very very very jealous of my friends who are in Jackson Hole right now!!

Total Fail

This blog is begining to fail. At the start it was pretty good, but now it really shows how boring and un eventful my life really is! I'm even skipping some days! I'm sorry!! I will try and make it better, I promise. And if anyone has any topics they would like me to write about, or if you have any questions you want to ask me, feel free to comment! This week I'll try and figure out some more juicy topics, and once the weather warms up, I'll be doing lots of park trips so we'll have a lot more pictures and fun stories!!

Thursday- Random Picture day 3

This picture was taken on July 4th, 2009. Tyson would have been about 3 months old! My handsome baby and I did the Race for Virginia. It is such a great cause. Virginia used to live up my street, and sadly she passed away at the age of 9. I remember seeing her at an Easter Egg hunt in our community park, she was always so happy and fun loving, living her life to the fullest. Every year they have a race to celebrate her, and a friend from the community that has also passed. They also do a few other events in her name. Its wonderful seeing a community get together to celebrate someone so great. The race is always fun, I walked as I'm not the best runner, and my family walked/ran. There are prizes, donuts and even Ritas at the end!! I encourage everyone near me to check it out next year, July 4th. Its a fun event, and the proceeds go to Pediatric Cancer Research. Please check out their website, Race For Virginia

Tyson had lots of fun that day, he met a lot of new friends, and we can't wait to do it next year!!!

Wednesday- Looking into the future #3

Ty is officially up and walking!!! He has been taking steps here and there but I didn't want to make it official yet, partly because I didn't want him growing up too fast, and partly because I didn't know what "official" walking was. He'll walk right across the room now and will walk to the toy he wants. I can't believe my little man is growing up!! Ten Months old!! YIKES! What will he do next?? Run? Talk back to me? Start playing soccer? Get a girlfriend? Get married? Geez I'm going to be a grandma before you know it! How did ten months fly by so quickly? Usually my life goes so slow, because it was so boring, but now I am praying for it to slow down. The days end so fast. I see changes in Ty everyday. His hair grows, he grows, heck his eye lashes will not stop growing!! I think I picked a theme for his birthday. A magazine came in the mail and there was a cute monkey theme. He wears a monkey hat everyday so I think this will be a good fit for him! Not like he'll remember anyways!! I believe Joe and I will do seperate parties, so I don't know their theme yet. Lucky boy...two parties! I will try and keep ours small, just close family and friends. Ok well quick night for me as I am so tired!! I will try and get a video of my little munchin walking tomorrow!!

Monday QOTD/ Throwback Tuesday

A new friend asked me yesterday, "What do you like the most about being a mom?" What an awesome question! Super hard to answer though. I love everything about being a mommy. Its the best job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The answer I gave him was "Waking up and seeing my baby smile, and knowing that I am his world". I love doing everything for him. I would do anything for him. I love seeing him look at me knowing that I'm his mommy, and he knows that he will be safe in my arms. I will do everything in my power to protect this little boy. I love being able to cuddle with my little man knowing that he will always be in my life. He will always love me, and I will always love him. My heart has grown so much since I met this little guy. I didn't realise love was such a powerful feeling. I've never been in love like this before. He is my everything. I love watching him grow, I love seeing the acomplishments that he makes, from the very first smile, to the little baby steps he is taking. He makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes my day amazing even if i'm in a grumpy mood. Those of you that have children know exactly how I feel. Those of you that don't...you will someday. Its a love you can't explain. Ty is with his dad today and I miss him so much. Sure its nice to get a break once in a while, but I'd rather have him in my arms all day. Gahh I miss him! I can't wait to pick him up in 20 mins!!

Throwback Tuesday!!

This is the morning of my induction. The week before I didn't look anything like that. I was small, but then POP!!! Tyson decided to grow, he got huge, and so did I!!! I can't believe he fit inside me. Its kinda odd thinking that I had a human inside my belly! How does that work?!? How did this little man come out of me!? Its so amazing how the human body works, how it can produce such an amazing thing, and how it can heal itself. It really fascinates me how these things work. Think about it. The human body is such an amazing thing, hmmm off to google I go!

This is me about 7 hours after I gave birth! I thought I would be skinny automatically, turns out I was wrong....very wrong!