Thursday, May 27, 2010

Help me decide!!

I need a change, I do like the way I look now, but I need something different. I'm starting over in my life, so shouldn't my look be fresh? I want to cut my hair, but have no clue what to do with it! So I need your help!! I have had my hair short before, well just below my chin, and I liked it. Right now my hair is long, and it gets in the way!!

Ok so you have seen the short hair, and the long hair. Short was easy to handle and somewhat cuter to style.  I would however like something like this:

Or could I pull off something like this?

Ok so I need your help!!!! Please help me to decide what to do with my hair, I need a change, I'm not afraid to do something drastic but I still want it to look good!!!
Please leave comments and tell me your opinions!!!
Please excuse the pictures, the one with the short hair is the best I have!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Just a blog :)

Over the past 6 years, I have had some wonderful relationships. It all started in high school, with a boy who we will name "Clifford". Clifford was my first real boyfriend. One that parents met, one that they liked, one that we would take out to our family dinners. Clifford was very outgoing, loved to rock climb, hike, be adventureous. I liked that about him. I broke up with him. Reason being, his shoes. I was young, 17...and didn't know what I wanted in life. He had told me he loved me, but I just wasn't that into him. I wanted to be free. His shoes bugged me so much that I had to let him go. Clifford never knew that was the reason. Next came my first true love. We met while working at a retirement home together. He was the bad boy with all the piercings and tattoos, and I was the shy, tall good girl. We will call him "Marty". Marty was very sweet, it all happend rather fast. We went out on a few dates, and fell madly in love. It was something I had never felt before. My heart raced every time I saw him, my hands got sweaty when he hugged me, my face turned bright red. I was filled with joy everytime I was with him. I met some amazing people from him. Some of them I still keep in touch with, but don't hang out with unfortunately. He was my everything. We dated for almost three years. Two of those years were a dream, I thought he'd be the one I'd spend my life with. During our final year together, I found out he wasn't who I thought he was. Lies came out, and kept coming. Our relationship fell apart, and we no longer trusted each other. Marty was turning into someone who I couldn't stand, someone I no longer wanted to be with. We worked on things, and things got a lot better, I was feeling like maybe this will work. Out of the blue he broke up with me. I have never been so devestated in my life. I would be up crying all night, my mum would come and lay with me and hold me, tell me it would be ok. She was my saviour. Things got easier. I planned to be single for a long time, explore the world. Then I met another guy, someone smart, someone with his head in the right place, someone fun. We'll name this guy "Eddie". He took me out, treated me like a princess. I wanted to be with him. So much for living the single life. We started a relationship, bought a house, and had a child. Things took a turn for the worse, we won't go into details. I loved him, but I never felt the same feelings I did for my first true love, and neither did he. I want to feel those feelings again someday. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. But I plan to be single and explore this new side of me. I can't let myself jump into a new relationship. Can I date? Sure, I plan to, and have met some wonderful guys. Am I looking for the one? Not right now. Right now I want to get to know who I am. Get to know the real me.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Mothers Day....

Mothers Day...just another Hallmark Holiday? Part of these days are just a way for card companies, flower companies, spa's and restaurants to make more money. It is true that flower sales go up around this time of year. Shouldn't we be buying our Mothers flowers every day of the year? Mothers do so much for us, cook, clean (they still will when you live on your own!) call us to check in, hold us when we are feeling down, and love us with all of their hearts. I know I take my mum for granted sometimes. She takes care of me so well, and she takes care of Ty too. I know I should show more appriciation for her. I think becoming a mom myself has made me realise all that she does for me. We celebrated Mothers Day for my mum a few weeks ago, as Mothers Day is on a different day in England. We bought her a few gifts, but do gifts really mean anything? It brought a smile to her face, but I want to bring that smile to her face every day with out buying a gift. I need to show her how much I care about her and how what she does for me means so much. I need to start pitching in more. Doing more laundry, cleaning the house more. She works, takes care of Ty while I work, and she has to take care of herself too. She has made my life as a single mom so much easier. While flowers and chocolates are nice, I think a hug and an I love you is nicer, those are things we should give our moms everyday.

Last year I celebrated my first mothers day. I was upset because I didn't even get a card! But thinking about it now, Ty was just a was he to know? And he shows me he loves me everyday with that smile that makes my heart melt. and makes everything that I do for him feel so right.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

I need to do this....

I know this is late. But I think I'm in denial. How can my tiny baby be ONE!!!! It is not possible!! Tyson turned one on April 21st. He had a wonderful day, and recieved so many great gifts. But did this fast??! Ty is my world. He is my number one priority. I put him first and I always will. This past year has been great. There have been so many wonderful moments and I am so blessed to have such an amazing little man in my life. The first few months were tough, no sleep...him not eating right...crying all them time...but every time he looked at me with those big eyes, my heart melted and I forgot about all the un happy moments I had that day. He has turned my life around. I have someone who relies on me, who needs me to keep him happy and safe, and I love doing this. It is the best job I have ever had. Sure I've had some personal issues, but those have been sorted out now, and I am finally happy and comfortable being a single mother, although I can hardly say I'm doing it alone. I have such a strong support system, and I can't thank my parents enough for what they have done for Ty and I. Joe and I are in a good place. We still bicker about tiny things, we have different parenting styles, but we are committed to keeping Ty safe, and raising him in a healthy enviroment. Do I wish Joe and I were still raising him as one unit? Sure I do but we both know its for the best. This past year has made me so much stronger. Being a mother has given me more confidence, made me happier, and less negative. Every smile turns me into a better person. The past year came and went, and now I'm looking forward to this next year of Ty's life. We have a fun year ahead of us, and I'm excited for what it entails.