Thursday, March 11, 2010
So I'm going a little off track with my posts. I don't think i'll stick to a schedule of topics. I'm just going to write about how I feel and be open with what is going on in my life. I think it will be more interesting that way. As I was playing with Ty this morning with a mirror that he has, I looked in it and I thought wow I look like crap. I haven't showered in a day, my hair is so messy, I have no make up on, and I have pimples galore. I couldn't bare to go outside looking like this, but it made me realise that someone loves me this way. Tyson loves me even though I don't have makeup on, and even though I may smell like a trucker. Tyson loves me for who I am. He loves me in the morning when my breath isn't the freshest, he loves me in the afternoon when I'm getting grumpy, he loves me at night when my hair is soaked because he has splashed around in his bath so much that his momma is covered and the bathroom is like a swimming pool. I don't have to be someone I'm not around him. I don't have to put on a front. He doesn't need to see me all dolled up. He loves me the way I am and that isn't going to stop. I hope that I can show him one day that you don't need to put on a front for someone to love you. You don't need to be someone you are not. If that person doesn't love you the way you are then you don't need them. I think I need to take that advice and put it in to my mindset if one day I do get into a realtionship again. I'm not going to pretend to be a perfect person, I'm not going to live my life in a way that person would want me to. I am going to be Rachel Louise Nixon, and stay true to myself.